The Truth About Help

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Truth: Often those who could use a helping hand are the first to push one away.

Good People, we’ve discussed personal power a great deal. The notion of working diligently to find and create our truth while balancing personal responsibility with the need to reach out for help. While garnering outside assistance can be a hard pill for many, especially when we must ask for it, many times offering help can be doubly as difficult.

I’ve mentored my fair share of individuals, ranging from pre-med students who reached out asking for my advice to filmmakers and artists who were having trouble finding ways reconciling their creative passions with the reality of their day to day family and career responsbility. There have also been cases when I’ve reached out to individuals that I’ve sensed potential in and offered to be a means of overall support. In both instances I’ve been met with amazing experiences that have allowed me to feel even more connected to my crafts and been filled with pride as my mentees progressed on their journeys. There have also been those instances when I’ve been frustrated — calls/meeting times not honored without follow up, advice offered that was blatantly rejected, agreements made that were ignored. The biggest challenge is when this continues to happen after the person reaches out with promises of turning over a new leaf; now wanting to honor their word, we set a new time to map out a plan of action and then….crickets. My sarcastic favorite is after weeks/months of silence, I then get an email where I’m asked for a letter or recommendation or referral that’s needed ASAP.

I totally get it, life happens to us all and part of our journey is learning how to navigate our interaction with others. While those situations aren’t my favorite, they have been a great source of truth; a lesson for me to not make things personal, a lesson for me to learn when I’ve reached my capacity for what I’m willing to offer and a lesson for me to get real and fight for those that I believe it. That fight is a choice that I am making and have to be OK with the fact that my efforts may or may not resonate; to truly make it about them, I have to be detached from the outcome. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. When I spoke with my guest Katie Duke last season, she said something that brought this all home for me. While going through a tough time, she had people around here who were making attempts to help her — “I was just blinded by being that young girl that had really low self esteem and no direction, who had made it a point to push away the people who cared about her the most — which is something that we do when we do not feel good about ourselves.”

We definitely can’t do the work for those in our lives, however it’s important that we align ourselves with the truth about our intentions for helping and do the work to detach out egos from the outcome. While it is their journey to travel, it is nice to have an opportunity to serve as someone’s guide along the way…letting them know, most importantly, that the truth will set them free….if they let it.